Self gratification is not allowed in society. It is deemed egotistical and uncomfortable to speak of oneself with pride and praise. I have often found myself among a group of people and when one person speaks of their own great quality or accomplishment every other person there: rolls their eyes, shifts their feet uncomfortably, and raises an eyebrow so high it disappears, or shoots the speaker down verbally.
We joke about it and tease anyone who thinks highly of themselves and tell them that, well, they are full of themselves. We cannot wait to bring them back to a level where we believe humility exists. We do it out of spite and without self-confidence whether we are aware of it or not. In many countries this is known as the Tallest Poppy Syndrome.
The Tallest Poppy Syndrome is essentially the tallest poppy in the field being mowed down because it is the most eye catching. When we relate this to humans it is to attack and cut down visibly successful/happy/confident people.
We are all a part of this sunshine robbery. It is human nature to point out flaws and faults in others, we do it so as to feel better about ourselves. It is like we are hard wired to judge one another, it is in the genetic make up of our beings and there is nothing for it. How disgustingly average of us to stifle the growth of another living creature, physically, mentally, spiritually you name it.
Is society giving us mixed messages? You bet! We are told to reach for the stars, to go for gusto, encouraged to succeed! Only, don’t talk about your accomplishments after you have achieved your greatest dreams because people will think you have a big head and are totally into yourself. And, of course, if you do not succeed, well, you are a loser like the rest of us so don’t worry; those people who make it big in life suck anyway.
Excuse me?
We have to justify our good fortune constantly. It cannot be enough that I have a good job; I have to explain that I have worked hard for it, and it hasn’t always been easy for me, blah blah blah. Is it ever socially acceptable to gush about how great we are? Four out of five say no. What a bummer. We want to feel good about ourselves and I really do think that most of us want others to feel good about themselves too.
I propose a challenge: Don’t be the tallest poppy. Be the tow
For an entire week: only speak about yourself in the positive, speak about your amazing qualities, how great you are and everything you have accomplished. Take it a step further and only speak about others in a positive way, about their amazing qualities and how great they are. When someone is spouting off about their awesomeness, jump on their wagon and agree with them that they rock!
You might just discover how good this makes you yourself feel…and how much less energy you expend when you give praise rather than dragging someone down. So all you poppies out there, put down your axes and put a little love in the soil.
You might just be able to break your criminal record of happiness theft and be charged with the gift of gratitude.
